I was waiting to do a blog on endometriosis for the worldwide day of awareness on Saturday March 19th but given my weekend consisted of a mad dash to the emergency room, I’m bringing my rant forward.
Saturday morning I felt an endo flare up coming on, this normally starts with a bloated belly full of inflammation and stabbing pains. But by lunchtime it felt as though someone had grabbed one of my ovaries in each hand and was squeezing and twisting them as hard as they could and then they decided to pull down really hard (guys imagine this happening to your nuts) I was hunched over unable to take a step forward, this was the first time I’d considered going to the emergency room. I’ve had two major surgeries for my endometriosis but I’ve never had this much pain outside of my period, my block of chocolate and over the counter pain relief was not going to cut it.
By 1pm I was at the hospital. I had put myself in a cab and made it very clear to the cab driver that if he was planning on sharp jerking of the car or going over bumps that it wasn’t going to end well and he was encouraged (probably for the first time in his life) to drive at nanna speed and would receive a tip for doing so.
I’m in a new town with no friends and family, not going to lie; going into the emergency room by myself gave me slight anxiety with no wingman. I looked around the room, it was busy with about 30 people but I was very surprised to see that most people looked ‘normal’ , maybe I watch too many movies but I was totally expecting people with chainsaws stuck in their legs or people in dressing gowns haven endured some kind of sex game injury, very disappointing. There was a chainsaw injury though, it was just invisible because it was going on inside my reproductive system.
An elderly man saw me hunched over and bless his soul, he offered me Panadol. He meant well, so I bit my tongue and said “Unless you’ve got a bottle of vodka to go with that, it’s not gonna cut it. But thank you kindly”. Fast forward and I was admitted to hospital and spent the night dosed up on whatever I could take to stop the pain with incredible hospital care.
For me, my Endo story has me at stage 4 with a reproductive system full of Cysts, Endo and adhesions sticking my organs together and just a plain old mess really. The plan is to now put my endo to sleep and focus on trying to implant a baby through one of my Embryos, my babies are on ice and it’s time to get this vessel ready for baby making.
But I still struggle with people close to me and new people entering my life, truly understanding what Endometriosis is. When pain is invisible it’s hard for people to be as sympathetic as someone with a visual injury or impairment; or unless the person has been through something similar and can compare. So I’ve reached out to my fellow Endo Sisters to help put into perspective what our battle is truly like, to describe to you in relatable terms what having Endometriosis is actually like.
Firstly, here is the scientific term for Endometriosis: “It’s Endometrial like tissue that resides outside the womb” But I simply put it as “Big round balls and small dots that cause a crap load of pain for women” How do my fellow Endo Warriors describe it?
IT’S JUST LIKE . . .
“Picture sand paper being rubbed across your internal organs”
“Someone tying bowling balls to my ovaries and expecting me to walk around” (Picture that on your balls guys)
“Having contractions without the pregnancy”
“A paper cut over and over again and on your most sensitive areas”
“Knives being stabbed over and over again into every delicate reproductive organ”
“Someone trying to scoop out my insides with an ice-cream scooper”
“A bus is parked on top of my abdomen”
“Being kicked in the stomach over and over again”
“Someone has crawled inside of me and has starting using my organs as punching bags”
“Like rusty barb wire being dragged through me internally”
“Slowly giving birth to an Alien, just as bad as the movie”
“Like someone is waxing my ovaries instead of my bikini line nonstop”
“When it’s on your bowel it’s like having an iron bar rammed up your bottom”
“A cat crawling out of my insides and dragging them out of my vagina with said claws still extended”
Ok the last one might be a bit dramatic and hard to picture, but in her defence it really is that bad. We go through hell with this disease and there is no cure. 1 in 10 women struggle constantly with this horrid disease, a disease that can often take 7 years to diagnose. For some of us it can also cause fertility problems and trying to do IVF with Endometriosis is like feeding the beast, petrol on the fire, fish bait to a shark. It’s basically like Sharknado, Endonado. But we will never give up on our dreams of being parents and we will never give up hope on finding a cure.
Last year on World Endometriosis Day, I walked through the streets of London doing the Endo March with an incredible group of ladies. I’m an Ambassador for Endometriosis Australia and this year I’ll be hosting our EndoMarch High Tea on the Gold Coast at the Mercure Gold Coast Resort, we are hosting events across Australia and I encourage you to please attend your local event to help raise awareness, to educate yourself, to support a loved one or to help raise much needed funds.