For me, Endometriosis takes away many additional aspects of normal life. You wouldn’t know if a woman was even suffering because she would put on a brave face and continue with her life, as normal. I may look healthy on the outside but you don’t see what my organs look like and you don’t feel the effects it can have on us physically and emotionally. Some women with Endometriosis are constantly fighting this condition trying to live a normal healthy life. Others often don’t understand what it’s like to live in pain every single day and to have to struggle to get out of bed every morning, of every week. Even just getting up and getting out of bed is a struggle not only because of the fatigue and pain but because we have no motivation to want to leave the house.
The many symptoms of Endometriosis
There are so many varied symptoms that we are living with on a daily basis that stop us from doing what we want. Some of these symptoms such as chronic fatigue, abdominal bloating, bladder and bowel issues and excruciating pain. Other symptoms may include nausea and for some but not all a struggle with fertility.
How Endometriosis affects my life
Not only does having endometriosis severely impact on my working life but also my social and love life. I often call up work sick, not because I just feel like having a day off, but because I feel so sick to even get out of bed in the mornings. Calling up sick makes me feel guilty because my boss or co-workers don’t always understand what I’m going through and often think I’m letting them down. I always try my best to achieve at work even when my symptoms are so crippling. All I want is to be able to show up to work every day with a big genuine smile on my face. I do not enjoy having days off work as I would rather be working towards my career and earning a good income to support my family.
When I need to cancel going to family gatherings or catching up with my friends it’s not because I don’t want to see anyone or spend time with loved ones it’s because I feel too sick to leave the house. Sometimes, well most times actually, I do not want to leave the house let alone my bedroom because I can’t be bothered putting on a brave and fake smile when deep down all I want to do is cry. It’s a lot easier to just stay in bed and hide than to go out and feel guilty and feel like I’m going to ruin everyone’s fun.
Endometriosis can really affect my relationship with my partner because we are unable to have intimate relations. I really wish I could but the pain I experience during and after reduces the want or desire to be intimate. Sometimes the pain can be so intense that it’s not enjoyable and just makes me crawl into a ball and cry. I still love my partner and am still very attracted to him. Often this is what our fights or arguments are about and I struggle to get my partner to understand why I feel the way I do. Often I can’t go out on dates with my partner or stay out late.
How it really feels to live with endometriosis
I am constantly faced with physical pains that I can’t control even with the strongest painkillers. I am constantly asking myself. Why? Combined with feelings of anger, frustration, hopelessness and despair. Most days I can’t even cope with my life and it’s hard to just ignore the crippling symptoms. The people I live around don’t even know what endometriosis is, let alone the downside of living with this disease. I have had too many visits to the emergency room and so many doctors visits where I am met with unsympathetic health care professionals who tell me it’s all in my head or just send me home with painkillers without looking into my symptoms.
Whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, but endometriosis seems to kill my spirit and all my hopes and dreams. So all I ask for all of you is to walk a day in my shoes and try to understand what I’m am going through. Endosisters are not lazy nor are we exaggerating the pain we are in. We just want endometriosis to be known for what it is. I want people to consider how I am feeling, as there is no prevention and no cure for this disease.
All I want to do is raise awareness to hopefully one day find that cure and ensure that no more women have to deal with this horrible pain and sickness.
Let’s stop all this suffering together and find a cure so we can be healthy again!
I will not give up on trying my hardest to raise awareness and to help support others like me.
Please support Endometriosis Australia’s Research Fund so we can make that change.